Time Traveler's Guide to Early 2020s Texting Grammar - Part 1

This is 100% a joke and just how I see these, if you disagree with any vibes, let me know in the comments and we can discuss!! If you don't see a term here that you're curious about, also add that to the comments!

Here is part one of Time Traveler's Guide to Early 2020s Texting Grammer (Rough draft):

Laughs

LMAO:

Lmao > translates to “Laughing my ass off”, does not usually actually mean “Laughing my ass off”, especially with this capitalization. This particular and bland variant of “LMAO” is usually bored. More of a huff through the nostrils than even a chuckle, and more no reaction at all than even a huff through the nostrils. Has a bit of an “I don’t really care but I’ll still try to laugh”. This is usually pronounced “lahmaoh”

Lmaoo > slightly better than Lmao, though still not as enthusiastic as it could be. More like a “hah.” than a “haha”.

Lmaooo(+) > pretty enthusiastic, think a cool chill person with slight grunge style chuckling.

LMAO > This is more genuine. LMAO in any of its forms has grown into less of a LOL than a “I’m in pain but laughing about it”. There are a few memes referencing the use of LMAO as a way to laugh away the pain. Usually, this form of LMAO, it’s the truest and best form, in my opinion, is genuine laughter, and even if it is in pain, it’s very jolly about it.

lmao > this is true pain. Or laughing politely at your crush's joke because Lmao is too “I don’t care” and “LMAO” is too intense.

lmaoo > one additional “o” in this way with all lowercase letters is slightly more pain or discomfort but also more laughing/blowing air through your nose.

lmaooo(+) > two additional o’s to this means more pain

LMAOO(+) > means the same as LMAO but with either more jolly pain or just more funny

Lmao. > I have never seen this used, and if I did, it would worry me. But not as much as the next one.

LMAO. > this is basically a texting grammar paradox. You cannot have the brightness and genuinity of LMAO with the sternness of an unnecessary period right after. The vibe is twisted and that of a psycho. Unless this was in a professional email, then it could be excused for proffesionallity’s sake.

LOL:

Lol > this has a similar vibe to Lmao. Sometimes too similar to differentiate. LOL came first though. This is pronounced “Laul” rather than what you will see in the next definition. 

lol > this one means a quiet LOL, pronounced differently than above. “lOl” as if you were saying O’l between the l’s like you were british.You need to put your lips as an ‘o’ shape to truly appreciate the sound. This one is slightly in pain. 

Lolololol > low effort, similar vibe to Lol, but with slightly more effort which is better than just Lol. Pronounced “Laullaullaullau” 

lolololol > higher effort than previous. Like lol but repeated, it’s pronounced as “lolololol”with the british o’s.

LOL > genuine, a tiny bit old school but I still use it and love it. Doesn’t actually mean “Laughing out loud” unless the person specified that they did indeed laugh out loud. This one means more of a grin at least. No pain (usually, it could depend on context), this one is the most genuine. 

LOLOLOLOL > This one makes me think of yodeling for some reason. It’s just lolololol but minus the pain and said very loudly. This one should be used for genuine laughter but isn’t always. (HAHA’s HEHE’s PFFT’s BAHAHA MWAHAHA Coming in part 2)

No’s

(please keep in mind, any no is still a no. This is only to show how the different no’s can sound and be pronounced. They all still mean no.) 

No > this is serious in tone, simple 

No- > very different from No. It is No but cut off. The hyphen shows effort to make a polite but usually serious response, and this changes the vibe the slightest bit. A lot less serious in tone, but still more serious than "no". 

No. > solid no, dead honest and “end of conversation” vibes 

no > this one is a whole different vibe. "no" with lowercase letters and no punctuation is a passive no. Think of it as quieter than No and not as intense. (keep in mind that no is still no, it doesn’t matter what the vibe is)

 nO > this one is what it sounds like, starting off quiet then gets louder. Think of a teen whining n-O. nO can be used if someone said something cringy, for example: “Ooo I knew you liked this dude!” “nO” It can be described in imagery as saying no with a look of suffering and putting your hands against your ears to hear no more. 

nO- > this is the same as above but it cuts off. This has a slightly different vibe, because of the hyphen making it more cut off, and it is slightly more serious than nO. This one has a bit of chaos in it too.

NO > A completely solid no, though said as a yell. 

NO. > More serious than above. This is the most solid no there is. This is said in a solid, stern, a bit angry and very very serious way. 

NO! > exhausted NO. very urgent.

NO- > NO but cut off 

Noo > one extra no, slightly less intense than No. If it were said out loud, it sounds a bit similar to a shake of the head. Pronounced “No-o” 

Nooo > two extra o’s, more emphasis on the No, even less in intensity than the Noo but more persistent. "No-o-o" like "know ow ow" (the "ow"s pronounced like the "ow" in "know")

Noooo(+) > the more o’s the more dragged out it will sound. Also the more tired, and more persistent.